You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
then he tried to convert me to islam
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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