yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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