Sponge bath it is.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
