wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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