ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
