Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
