I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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