oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Actions speak louder than pants.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
