I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
