yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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