let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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