umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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