you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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