bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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