I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
be right there i have to get my cape
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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