Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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