using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
