Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
