Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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