I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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