I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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