we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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