I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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