It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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