can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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