When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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