It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
