Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
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And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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