someone get that fucking seahorse.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
