alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
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Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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