That's when you crack a 10am beer
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
