She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
