Jerry, you need to find god
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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