So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
