I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
