Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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