How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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