We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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