Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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