you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize