I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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