wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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