he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
as a side note pls kill me
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize