I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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