My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
