some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
