oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
do nipples grow back?
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