i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
