If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
