They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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