Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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