is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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