If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
