apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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