If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
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If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
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Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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