Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
