i think my mom watched the whole time
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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