Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize