A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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