I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
