it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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