my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
