Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
