Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize