Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
