dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
