I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize