I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize