i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He did a backflip because drugs
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
